How close is too close

When we first started dating my boyfriend and I decided “NO new friends”. Impossible right?

Insecurities from other relationships prompted us to make a deal involving no new friends of the opposite sex. Since we lived so far away from each other, the option of having our significant other in the face of someone who could offer them a closer bond was daunting. The reality of that situation couldn’t happen because there was so much room for error. On the job we meet new friends, being in a new city invites new relationships, and going to events connect you to new faces.

We learned the hard way, this wasn’t going to work. I remember my parents setting a rule and enforcing it. The more they pushed, the more I pulled and wanted to break. There was no way a teenager could ever understand the instruction or worries of a parent because there was a lesson us youngsters needed to learn. In dealing with my parents and their form of instruction, I was the daughter who needed to learn the lesson in order to “get it”.

I understand the placing of rules is only healthy for things you can control like guidelines for working a particular job or assembling a toy airplane. Placing such restrictions on a romantic relationship affect a disastrous outcome. In this setting, deceit is born and mistrust is formed. It is necessary to let things develop in their natural way. If a person wants to form a healthy relationship outside of your romantic one, let it be. If that relationship starts to take precedence over yours, yours wasn’t meant to be.

Let me know what do you think?

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3 thoughts on “How close is too close

  1. What about current friends? It’s really not about making friends as much as its about do you trust that the other loves and respects you enough to distance current relationships and to put boundaries around new relationships. What measures is he willing to take to secure your trust and vice versa?

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