Every relationship goes through the honeymoon phase. If someone says they didn’t or never left, they are lying. Rose colored glasses are a required item upon stepping foot into someones personal space and making room in your life for them. We look past the flaws and the flags we once noticed to enjoy the newfound present that is puppy love. The first argument tells the test of time. After we forget who we tried to be and the telltale signs of our personality arise, what then? Do we accept the inevitable or move on?
At least one person loses sight of themselves and the other holds their mask on until the last bit of adhesive wears off. We have to both figure where we left off before we became entangled in each other. More times than not, the person traveling the most adapts to the lifestyle of the other. They become interested in the others hobbies and in an effort to keep them happy, leave the safety of their lives and jump into the warm embrace the new life has to offer.
Yes, this is my reality. having to travel to keep a relationship alive means having to participate in new activities and planned events by the other party. You become part of their world while yours awaits your return. Not until you are forced to take the first step back do you realize what you have become. Every other dream you dreamt wrapped in the covers of your personal space, is replaced with the force of another person wanting more. Without commitment of a long life together, your determination to make what others might deem a reckless relationship, you voraciously try to make it work. Long days of work and travel are employed by caffeine to fuel your mission. Sleep can be had on travel and starvation beats unhealthy eating right?
After taking that step back you have options. You made this life for yourself. Your significant other did not ask you to cut hours at work, they didn’t beg you to be with them every weekend, nor did they demand you use their personal space as your own. Since you spread yourself thin and demanded so much of yourself, what do you do when you are just tired of it all? The luxury of having a free maid, chef, and personal assistant has become the norm to them without the knowledge of your weary. What if they don’t appreciate your loyalty and complain about the amount of time you spend trying to make them happy?
Either you demand less of yourself in that relationship and finish building the life you envisioned for yourself or you continue to assume the things they want you to do. To me, either way, is a win, win. You tried your best to make something you wanted to work and that was all you could do. On the other hand, you can get back to enjoying yourself and the things that made that person want to be with you in the first place.
Let me know what you think.
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